"If you would create
something, first you must
be something.”
Johann Wolfgang
von Goethe

(Monday, July 8th, 2013)


By the water

In my coaching practice clients often ask me how to work on their self-talk and how to become more optimistic. It starts by paying attention to your inner life. Your inner life is just as important as your outer life. You are the maker of your reality.

The thoughts you think and the words you say to yourself today are manifesting your tomorrow. There is a saying that if you want to know what you have been thinking, look at your present circumstances, and if you want to know what your future holds, look at your thoughts today. When you think and say what you truly want, you will manifest what you truly want. The trouble is that most people suffer from what I call an undisciplined mind. This is a mind that jumps, hops and skips from one thought to another. The problem people encounter with an undisciplined mind is that they then identify with these thoughts and believe that they are their thoughts.

An undisciplined mind spends 80 percent of its time entertaining negative and disempowering thoughts. These are the thoughts that keep you ruminating about things that upset you. These negative thoughts tell you you’re not good enough, smart enough or pretty enough or that people don’t support or believe in you. The most powerful thing you can learn is that it is only a thought, and a thought can be changed.

What I want you to know is that you aren’t your thoughts, and you don’t have to identify with them. Just like a radio station, you have other channels to choose from. When a song comes on the radio that you don’t like, you change the station.

Here are some tips to get you started disciplining your mind to be conscious and mindful.

Monitor Your Thoughts: Start by paying attention to your thoughts. Don’t work to change them yet, simply notice them. Slow down and listen. So often you are moving so fast, you never take the time to listen. Start to notice if your thought are helping or hurting you. Are you criticizing yourself or building yourself up?

Create space: When you find yourself thinking something that isn’t empowering you, step back, take a deep breath and ask yourself if this is a thought you want to keep? If not, replace it with another more empowering thought. For example a thought like, “I always fall for the wrong man” is not a thought that will help you get what you want. Consciously change the thought to, “I am attracting a healthy stable man.”

Look at Both Sides: Every thought has a counter thought. A thought of, “I’m getting old”, can be replaced with, “I am exactly the perfect age right now.” Which thought is more empowering and feels better? Realize that in every moment you have the power to choose a thought that supports you and nurtures you.

Talk to Yourself: Stop letting your self-talk to you, and instead start talking to yourself. Your undisciplined mind is constantly putting you down, but you don’t have to agree. Talk back to your mind when it says something you don’t like. Tell your mind thank you very much, but that isn’t a thought that empowers me. Tell your mind that you want a better and more encouraging thought. Then choose a thought that lifts you up.

Be Clear About What You Want: Be sure to set clear goals for yourself. Life doesn’t give you what you deserve – life gives you what you expect. If you think to yourself, I’m not qualified enough, I’m too fat, I’m not educated enough, blah, blah, blah, life will give you circumstances to match. Ask yourself what you really want, and then use your thoughts to work with you not against you.

Just like you learned your multiplication tables through repetition, you have to do the same thing with your thoughts until thinking highly of yourself is natural, an embedded belief and a habit. This is what I call the disciplined mind. Practice these steps, not once, not twice, but over and over again until your mind becomes disciplined and gives you thoughts automatically that lift you up and help you achieve.

When you honor yourself and believe in yourself, your life will take off in unexpected and wonderful ways. When you commit yourself to doing the inner work, the outer work flows and things come easier to you.

I wish you love & light.

To have me speak at your next event or work with you or your team, visit my site at or email me directly at

To learn more about how to adopt happy habits for yourself, check out Michele’s book, “Happiness is a Habit: Simple Daily Rituals That Increase Energy, Improve Well-Being and Add Joy to Every Day.”