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"If you would create
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Johann Wolfgang
von Goethe

Give Me An Honest Conversation Over Small Talk Any Day
(Tuesday, June 9th, 2015)

Give Me An Honest Conversation Over Small Talk Any Day

What brings a big smile to your face? What do you long for when the world is still? When was the last time you got goosebumps from nature or laughed until you cried? This is what I want to know about you. I want to dance with you in life. I want to feel your joy and your sorrow, and I want to live authentically by your side with passion, honesty and courage.

My favorite conversations are always those that leave small talk at the curb. While I’m good at small talk, it doesn’t feed me the way an honest conversation does. I thrive when I connect my heart with another heart and I learn the story of who someone is beyond the facade. I was feeling frustrated lately from the amount of bad news on everyone’s lips. Everywhere I went I heard what I’ve come to call “the doom and gloom report,” It seemed as if everyone was talking about disaster, corruption and the latest thing that will kill you. Had I too become cynical and negative? I decided I wanted to change the conversation, and this is what I did.

I hosted what I titled a “Happy” Happy Hour. The thought behind the event was to bring a group of people together for the purpose of sharing good news. I wanted us to focus on what was going right in our lives, to celebrate those who love and support us and to share whatever good news we were happy about at the moment. The world can be such a stressful and unbalanced place. The amount of bad news reported always outweighs the good. I know good news is out there and I know there is a higher energy that comes from positive versus negative conversations, but that wasn’t what I was hearing. I sent out some emails, put a few flyers up and told people about my “Happy” Happy Hour.

I didn’t know what to expect or even if anyone would come. I told people that the price of admission was a piece of good news. I only confirmed my husband and friend Shelley were coming, so at least I wouldn’t be alone. In the end we were a group of 20 or so people from all walks of life and what unfolded that night was beautiful.

I started us out by telling everyone my goal, which was not to learn where they worked, how many degrees they had or who they knew, but to share our hearts, our stories and ourselves. I don’t need to know where you went to college, but I do want to know what touches your heart. In a world filled with traffic, constant rushing, and too many people striving for perfectionism, I didn’t want to engage in small talk, or resume sharing. I wanted us to speak our truths and to share from a deeper more spiritual place.

The first woman to speak was Sheila. After my introduction she said that she had a story all prepared, but now she wanted to share a different story. She shared that she had lost her daughter at only 20 years old. She didn’t say how, but we all were immediately connected. She explained that on her daughter’s 23rd birthday she took a trip to Israel by herself and that her daughter came to her in a dream. In the dream she asked her daughter what she was doing and her daughter’s response was, “I’m making you potatoes mom.” This meant nothing to Sheila, but the image of her daughter in the dream was so vivid. She went on with her trip and it was not soon after she returned back to the states that she met her now, husband, Billy Flynn. Billy was there at her side and the two shared an adoring glance and teased that he was the “potatoes” that her daughter was making for her. I could feel the hearts opening and the circle of strangers become closer.

From there on the sharing took flight. Some shared simple pleasures like looking forward to the Memorial Day Weekend and that summertime feeling you get when you are a kid, one person booked a long overdue trip to Florida and another shared about getting her nephew an internship at the company where she worked. One woman talked of being served with divorce papers on her 25th anniversary. She was happy and grateful for her friends who dragged her to this Happy Hour and who were helping her cope. Sheila’s husband Billly shared the volunteer work they were doing and how they helped an abused woman make her very first snowman this past winter. It didn’t matter the story, we all felt connected, seen and validated. We felt each others joy and sorrow. We gained strength from other people’s strength and we felt lifted by the hope and the life energy that was coming from each of our hearts. It was a magical and uplifting evening.

The next morning I woke up, still high from the night before. Could something so simple, be so powerful? Yes it can. It is the reason we go sit in a coffee shop alone. Surely we can make coffee in our own home, but we go out looking to make a connection, to have a conversation and to know that our humanity matters, and that someone sees us. When we feel heard and seen we shine our light a little brighter, and as far as I’m concerned this world needs more people who shine their lights.

I will be hosting a “Happy” Happy Hour each month for the next five months and organizing some inspirational hikes. Come join in the conversation and feel your own heart soar.

For information on future Happiness events CLICK HERE.

If you’d like me to facilitate a private event for you, I am ready, open and willing. Girlfriend Days, Dinner Parties and small events are perfect settings to encourage and foster honest open communication. Email me at michele@key2unlock.com and we can customize something for you.

Love & Light,

Michele Phillips